The last few weeks I’ve had a difficult time making the most of motherhood. I have been in a rut. It was feeling mundane. Like more than usual, because I mean — how exciting is it to do laundry, clean and change diapers? ha! Somewhere along the way motherhood lost its magic for me. I couldn’t quite put a finger on it until last night. Guys, it was social media. I probably sound like a broken record here but it’s a big issue in my life. I get really caught up in what my life should be like instead of embracing it as it is. I made resolutions to leave it behind me, get back to simplicity and back to truly enjoying motherhood.
Our first morning with a fresh perspective and I already feel like a new woman! We headed for a walk to the park. I ended up carrying both kids because our stroller had a flat. Talk about a workout! I left my phone behind. It was so simple but it made a huge difference. We played firemen, cops and robbers and climbed up the slide a couple dozen times. We even found the pair of shoes Dawson lost three weeks ago! I could see the difference in Dawson. It was clear that his love tank was filled all the way to the top. And guess what?? So was mine. I spent weeks focused on me and my goals and how motherhood was getting in the way. All the while I was miserable. (I’m not saying setting goals and going after your own dreams is a bad thing)
For me, motherhood fills my tank, when I let it. When I embrace it for all that it is rather than focusing on what it isn’t. It isn’t glamorous and people aren’t lined up down the street to validate me. Sometimes that can be hard to swallow. Especially, as a woman who is very driven. I thrive on setting goals and seeing them accomplished. Motherhood isn’t a goal to accomplish but a day in and day out, knock-down-drag-out battle. It is the most difficult journey of my life and one that’s nearly impossible to survive unless you believe in it. I’m determined to get that magic back. I will love it for all it’s worth. And it’s kind of worth a lot.